Category Archives: religion

Redefining Marriage

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When I am king of all that I survey, I want to propose a series of marriage reforms. For starters, there will be now be two marriage designations. One will be a Christian Marriage, and the other will be called a Heathen Marriage. Heathen marriages can be given to any disgusting pairing of people who do not qualify as Christians engaged in a good, old fashioned marriage. That way, when gay people, atheists, or other lower moral forms want to get married, they can get Heathen married. It will grant them certain rights and privileges, but it won’t sully the integrity of Christian Marriage.

The Christian Marriage designation will be automatically given to anyone presently married who claims to be a Christian, and to all Christians wishing to marry in the future. The Christian Marriage differs from Heathen Marriages because it will follow the teachings of the Holy Bible. This means a few subtle but important changes to their existing relationships:

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A Question For The Faithful

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I know that a few of my readers are faithful members of a variety of religions. I recently heard about a Gallup Poll that got me curious. I have a short series of questions that I would love to hear answers for:

1. Do you believe in heaven (or a similar afterlife)?

2. How does your belief/lack of belief impact you?

3. Do you believe in hell (or a similar, shitty sort of afterlife)?

4. How does this believe/lack of belief impact you?

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…And Now The Sikh’s Are Doing It

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Leno, whom I must admit I’ve never pictured as a deranged lunatic spouting evil globules of anger at those who don’t see the world the way he does, is in trouble. It turns out he has attacked the Sikhs, humiliating them badly enough that they are likely going to lodge a protest with the US State Department. And what was this terrifying assault, you may ask?

He showed a picture of the Temple of Amritsar, also known as the Golden Temple, and implied that it was Mitt Romney’s house.

Oh my God. I know. As a non-Sikh, I’m almost in tears over the slander.

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I Love This Country

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It has its faults, there’s no denying that, but for all those faults it really is a great place where a prick like me can calmly say that there is no God. Not so in Indonesia.

A government employee who runs an Indonesian atheist’s group posted that God did not exist on his Facebook page. He was met at work by a mob of his coworkers, who beat him and had him arrested. He is, according to the police, under protective custody for now, but they are investigating his blasphemy. If he doesn’t repent and accept one of the six appropriate religions, he can be jailed.

And people wonder why I am so quick to defend free speech, even if it’s a message I don’t agree with…

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Jesus And Mo And Fundies

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As PZ Myers said today, this is getting ridiculous. In case you aren’t familiar with it, Jesus And Mo is a web comic that portrays Jesus and Mohammad, often with an atheist barmaid and sometimes visited by other important religious figures. It is never nasty, always irreverent, and hilarious. Of course, there are always going to be people who are rubbed the wrong way by those who poke fun at what they believe. I get that. But there are lines in the sand.

Recently, there has been a big freakout over this cartoon. Muslims have suddenly decided that it is offensive. After all, they’re drawing the prophet, and that’s just not allowed. And you know what? I can totally understand them being annoyed by this. I understand it because drawing Mo is against their beliefs. But you know what? Your beliefs, no matter who you are or what those beliefs are, are yours. Not mine. You have the right to believe whatever you want, but you don’t have the right to expect me to hold the same beliefs.

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What’s The Recipe For Gay?

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I was just poking around Pharyngula, and I saw this post. It turns out that, unbeknownst to me, some Catholics are promoting the idea that the UN has a secret agenda to make half the world gay in the next 20 years. Unfortunately, they don’t spill the beans on how they go about making people turn gay. It makes sense that it could be done, though, as we know that the fundagelicals are able to turn someone back from being gay with prayer and retreats.

What is the recipe for gay? I have gay friends, maybe they will let me in on the secret. I know I’m not gay, so perhaps it can be found in the things I dislike, from marmalade to top 40 music. But there’s such a vast amount of data to move through, and it could be combinations, like a minimum of 2 hours of top 40 music per day mixed with marmalade sandwiches and regular exposure to true crime novels. I don’t know how I’ll figure it out without someone helping me to understand.

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Who Knew Pope Ratzi Would Say That???

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Oh wait. I did. Pope Ratzi the Terrible gave his State of the World address, and people are acting like it’s a shock that he said that same sex marriage and abortion were threats to the future of human life. It isn’t. The Catholic Church has always taken this stance. Pope John Paul II, arguably the most progressive Pope that Holy Mother Church has ever known, was against abortion and considered gay marriage a “part of a new ideology of evil, perhaps more insidious and hidden, which attempts to pit human rights against the family and against man.” And Pope Ratzi is anything but a progressive.

People can act as bewildered as they like about it, but the fact remains that the Catholic Church feels very strongly that these are evil attacks on the goodness of humanity. Now, I know some gay-positive Catholics, and I’m sure they’re annoyed by this because the word of Pope Ratzi isn’t the be all and end all of their personal faith experience, and they’re right in that. But this group you belong to, this group who you think has your ticket to an afterlife of awesome, they don’t agree with you on this. In fact, they think that gay marriage and abortions and condoms and pulling out are ways to get God to hate you for all eternity. If that’s not the God you believe in, maybe it’s time to question why your tithes go to supporting a homophobic, anti-choice agency.

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Just Clarifying

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I, the atheist, do not know morality. I, the atheist, do not have the ability to know right from wrong. All the best people on earth are faithful, and all the worst (like Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot) are atheists. God is great. Through God’s wonder (whichever God you happen to buy into, so long as he’s got himself an Abraham) we can become great people who do great things.

Just needed to clarify that after reading this.

Jim

Religious Freedom And Freedom Of Speech

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I have written this article at least four times, each time tossing it out as I was unhappy with either my stance or my tone. You see, this is a tricky business for me. This is an exact example of where lines cross in unpleasant ways, and I have to figure out on which side of those lines I land. And it’s all because of a fundamentalist Christian whom I consider dangerous, whom I consider ridiculous, and whom I must now defend.

William Whatcott is a nut, as near as I can figure. He’s against being gay and he’s against abortions. Now, I’d be fine with him being against HIS being gay and HIS having abortions, because that’s his opinion about his own body and his own sexuality, and more power to him. Where we run into difficulty is that he’s against ANYONE doing those things. And he’s one of those remarkably loud people who winds up in the public eye (and the legal eye) for his efforts.

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Sex Bots Of Paradise Cove

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I present this link to my readers not because it is a topic I have any ability to comment on or provide any unique insight into, but for exactly the opposite reason; I didn’t know anything about it but thought I did. I certainly wouldn’t have described myself as an expert on what Islam promises martyrs in the afterlife, but we’ve all heard the seventy-two virgins thing and I think at least a good chunk of the people I know who have talked on the subject (myself included) didn’t understand it properly.

So my public service for the day is to point you in the direction of this article by Heina at Skepchick that explains some of the common misconceptions about the seventy-two virgins. It’s short, but I believe a thorough explanation of where we’re wrong in our understanding of the concept, and I’d say that it’s worth understanding better.

Jim