About biguglyjim

Like a caterpillar that spins a coccoon and emerges as a walrus with a mohawk, Big Ugly Jim has become something unexpected. Raised a fine young Christian boy in the city of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Jim began to question his teachings, first evaluating the wisdom of other religious and eventually realizing that none of them seemed any more accurate than any other, and not a one of them made a lick of sense. Today, Big Ugly Jim is a musician, a Business Analyst with Large Oil Company Whose Name Is Not Important, a music promoter with the Calgary Beer Core, a writer of fiction and non-fiction, a prick, an atheist, a father, an ex-husband, a role model, a horrifying vision in a red speedo (or at least he would be, if ever that happened which IT WOULD NOT), an announcer, and soon to be an officiator of weddings. Also, he's nice and does dishes. Madly enamoured with his partner, The Lovely Lady, Jim continues to live in Calgary, spreading his filthy doctrine of free, critical thinking and appreciation for music. His turn-ons include and are utterly limited to all that is The Lovely Lady. His turn-offs include people being shitty to each other, fundamentalism, and zebras. Who the hell do they think they are, really?

Impulse Shopping For Abortions

It really bothers me that I need to say this, but stories like this one make me realize that some people really don’t understand how decisions are made. And honestly, I’m a bad person to talk about impulse shopping. I bought my upright bass as an impulse buy. Hell, I chose my career on an impulse.

Impulse shopping is a thing. I first heard about this when I noticed the weird odds and ends that they put at the till of my local 7-11. Did people really say, “Hang on, sweetie, I just need to run in somewhere and by a horoscope scroll before we go to the park!” I don’t think they do. And yet, people actually buy them. If they were in a separate area, nobody would ever consider it, but while standing at the till, you look down and supposedly think, “Heck, a horoscope scroll! Sure, it’s a stupid thing, but it’s only two bucks and might be good for a laugh (or some long term financial planning),” and proceed to pick one up. Bonus points if you get the right sign, but any of them will do.

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Mining The Depths Of My All Too Human Brain

I’ve never really needed counselling, which is to say that I’ve always had a far-too-glossy view of just how together I am. It’s a pretty easy thing to do when on paper things look good and the things that aren’t good underscore just what a great guy you are, but that’s the thing; on paper really doesn’t mean a thing. I didn’t see that for far too long. Really, I didn’t see it until my relationship with The Lovely Lady failed and I had to take a truly objective view of my life and the reasons why I had been a wreck for the six months prior.

I’m not good at that stuff. I had a couple of important realizations, but the big one was that I knew my brain was a jackass who wanted to work against me. Why? I have no idea. Jackassery really doesn’t answer it. There really had to be more, and I knew that on my own, I’d never be able to answer the question. My brain, she don’t talk to me so good.

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Same Sex Marriages Allowed In…TEXAS?

Well shoot guns at my hog and call me Duck Dynasty, the Texas District Court has overruled the law in Texas that bans same sex marriages, and their reasoning is actually spot on. Fuck me running, that’s hard to imagine. Don’t get me wrong, this is wonderful news, and I can’t help but smile at it. But wow. Texas. Really. That’s going to go over well. Cue talks of secession in 3… 2… 1…

The reasoning breaks down into three main points that were presented as reasons for the law. First, the argument that childrearing will be negatively impacted by allowing gay marriage. I believe they are referring to the idea that a child just ain’t the same if’n his parents are queermos. Well, they couldn’t provide any evidence to support that claim, and the judge countered by pointing out that the law works to the opposite, ensuring that children of gay couples who are not recognized as married will not have access to the same protections and stability offered children of heterosexual couples.

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The Greatest Insult Ever In The History Of Everything

Did you know that people who do not believe in the might and majesty of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are actively attacking him? It is sickening. It is blasphemous. It is monstrous. I did a search just now on burnt spaghetti, and this is what I found. Be wary, though. Such sights as these cannot be unseen.

Who would be so ghastly as to blaspheme in this way? Who would take the image of our lord and defile it? The heretics must pay for what they have done. I will simply not stand for it. I demand that our religious iconography never be tarnished like this. And thus, I will be seeking support for legislation. Let’s call it FSM’s Law.
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Radicals And Islam

It isn’t every day I read something this genuinely honest and insightful, and I felt I had to share it. The article, Is Islam a More Radical Religion? An Inside View is a guest post on Butterflies And Wheels written by an Iranian, and it honestly gave me much to think about. I highly suggest you read it.

The topic is radical religion. The author’s cultural reference is on Islam, and the attempt to understand whether Islam is inherently more radical than other faiths. The author says it is, but I would beg to disagree. I would say that the current state of Islam is more radical than other religions, and that presents a significant threat to the world given the number of Muslims in it. But I do not agree that Islam on the whole is more radical; rather, I think that most other religions have curbed their violent pasts based on living in the modern world.

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My life is my own to do with as I please. This is a ridiculously cool thing, because the implication is that I have an obligation to do the best with it that I can. It was not always this way. There was a time when the decisions around my choices, the decisions around what I thought, and the decisions around what was done to me were ultimately in the hands of others, primarily my parents. A time came, however, when I had to take that dominion over myself. This is called reaching adulthood.

There are two things I know about the dominion I hold, and they are different sides of the same coin. I wanted to put digital pen to cyber paper today to talk about these two aspects of my dominion because damnit, I think it’s interesting stuff.

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Evolution: God’s Impossible Struggle

I was reading a post just now on PZ’s blog entitled Nye/Ham postmorten: the apologists for religion and I agree wholeheartedly. I have toyed with writing a post on this topic for a while now, and this just sort of pushed me to get ‘er done. As ever, note that my job title is Business Analyst, which is a far cry from Evolutionary Biologist or Guy Who Reads The Bible. I am a layperson with no real expertise in evolutionary theory, but even a twit like me can see where evolution gets in the way of all systems of faith.

In PZ’s post, he references a post by Phil Plait trying to explain that evolution doesn’t say anything about where the breath of life came from, and therefore it really just takes over as a process from the moment life began, and that means it’s totally compatible with a faith-based way of thinking.

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Eat A Cheeseburger, And Other Things Assholes Say

Lately, a large number of my friends have been joking with The Lovely Lady (yes, we are no longer together, but she is still my dearest friend and still a lovely lady, and there will never be another Lovely Lady, so deal with it) about how she needs to eat a cheeseburger/sandwich/chunk of lard/whatever. They say it because she has lost a bit of weight. But they also say it because they are jerky assholes.

She lost some excess fat with a bout of flu that left the two of us with trips to the hospital and a very real fear for her life. It is not the way she meant to lose the weight, but the outcome of all of the fear was a burst of commitment to getting back in shape. The truth is that she had been slightly overweight and, more importantly, her body (which suffers from chronic pain due to a drunk driver hitting her years ago) was in worse shape than it should have been. So, rather than putting the weight back on, she began a renewed campaign of exercise and healthy eating, and I can honestly say that she is ridiculously healthy and not too skinny by any stretch.

But people just keep on with telling her to eat a cheeseburger. It hurts her feelings and it pisses me off. See, I was a skinny kid. I was scary skinny. When I hit grade 10, I was 5’7″ and 70 pounds. 30 pounds lighter and 7 inches taller than the five foot ninety-eight pound weakling. That is terrifyingly skinny, and it didn’t do wonders for my self-confidence.

I would regularly be walking down the street and some complete stranger would come up and dig their fingers into my ribs and say things like, “Oh my goodness aren’t you thin! Oh, you’re so lucky! You must eat like a bird!” And it was assumed that I would be perfectly okay having my space violated and my body and habits commented on by a complete stranger. Oddly, I would likely not have been very welcome to grab a fat roll on someone and say, “Oh my goodness aren’t you fat! Oh, you’re so lucky! You must eat like a horse!” Of course, that would be rude and horrible because being fat isn’t something people want to be

Being an emaciated skeleton was just as awful for me. Girls found me disgusting. Boys were all tougher than me and let me know it on a far-too-regular basis. It sucked. And people felt the need to grind me about it because they didn’t see how rude they were being.

The same is true of this situation. The Lovely Lady is finally in great shape, she is healthy and happy and beautiful, and friends of hers just keep insulting her over it. That is horse shit. It shouldn’t matter how thin or fat or whatever a person is, but how healthy they are.

When I started losing weight and going to the gym, I had people ask me what I wanted to weigh. My answer was simple. I didn’t give a fuck. The number of the scale is totally unimportant to me, what matters is how healthy I am, how strong I am, how well I can move, how good I look naked, how strong my lungs are, and how happy I am. That’s all the stuff that ought to matter. I could weigh 800 pounds and not bat an eye if all the rest of that were awesome.

I don’t understand our need to belittle everyone. So I’m asking the people in my life who make these comments to please consider stopping, and if they can’t, please consider stepping in front of a moving vehicle. I don’t like asshole comments, and I particularly hate them when they’re directed at my best friend.


Big Homeless Jim

I’ve had a couple of days to digest this, and can now make light of it, but I’m still deeply offended by the whole thing. Maybe writing about it will be cathartic, or maybe it’ll just make someone giggle. Either way, score one for me.

On Monday, I got a phone call. It was the company I consult to’s security team. They asked if I could confirm that I was wearing blah blah blah, and listed off what I was wearing down to the color of my shoelaces. Much concerned, I admitted that this was what I was wearing. The guy on the other end of the phone sounded relieved and expressed that he had received a phone call from the building security (a different company), and that they thought I was a homeless person.

Why do they call me Big Ugly Jim again?

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The Junos: The Best Canadian Music If You’ve Got Tunnel Vision

Ah, The Junos. That special time of year when the Canadian music industry has the opportunity to show off some of the best and brightest musical acts across the country. The nominees are in and they go a long way to highlight exactly why Canada’s music industry sucks.

The list of nominees for any of the major awards is ridiculously homogenous, unless of course you really like the same five bands. If you look at Pop Album Of The Year and cross reference with Artist of the Year and Group of the Year, you will notice that the same names keep popping up, and they are names that everybody knows. It isn’t until you get to the smaller genres or the “breakthrough” artists and groups that you start to see bands that aren’t as well known. Although they could be, it’s entirely possible that these are radio kingpins that everybody but me knows.

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