The Monarchy

kingI’ve been reading Spawn comics lately. Started at the beginning, and I’m a ways in to the series. Spawn is one of those titles that I’ve always wanted to read but never actually did, and now that I’m doing it, I’m enjoying it ridiculously. It’s not as good as when I read The Goon or Frank Miller’s Batman work, but it’s still hella-good. What on earth does this have to do with the monarchy? Almost nothing. But in one of the books, I remember seeing a news broadcast referencing a new monarchist movement in Spawn’s fictional France, and it made me giggle.

Who in the blue hell would want a monarchy?

Okay, aside from whoever it was that was going to be monarch. Seriously, the notion is just so laughable, I have no idea how we ever instituted a monarchy in the first place. So some great hero unites the clans, I can see the clans saying, “Hey, that person rules, we should totally let them be the Big Boss for us!” And maybe that person has an awesome child, and the people are all, “OMG, the kid’s just as good as the parent! Three cheers for staying with the status quo!”

Trouble is, eventually you wind up with a crap leader. Eventually, you kind of have to figure out that the best person to lead (if you really only think it’s the job of a single person) is the person most competent, and not the nearest descendent of the last person. I mean, how many countries have at some point in their history had a Grand Poobah whose balls hadn’t dropped yet?

Or look at our current situation here in Canada. The Queen has, essentially, supreme executive power over this country. I mean, she doesn’t, but she does. Technically, the Governor General can do anything on behalf of the Queen, and the Queen retains all the power. In practice, these decisions are made largely by Parliament, and those decisions are rubber stamped by the Governor General, but in a very real sense, that is just in practice. I’m probably exaggerating a bit, but it is a bit unnerving that that much power resides with someone appointed by someone living an ocean away.

Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that in the near future we will have King Charles as our supreme executor. Based on his track record, this thought should chill the blood.

I wasn’t planning on posting about this until I read a post by Ed Brayton today entitled British Conservative Makes Terrible Anti-Equality Argument. In it, he shreds the comments of Lord Tebbit, who basically says, “But if we let gay folk marry and mail order up some semen for babies, we could have a dyke queen makes a milkshake baby. Would THAT be our King??? ZOMG!”

Fuck it. Let’s just get rid of them. Malls can open themselves. We don’t need them. They serve no purpose save tradition. It is the ultimate welfare family, and we get nothing out of their continued existence. Done. Bye. Get a job, Chuck.


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About biguglyjim

Like a caterpillar that spins a coccoon and emerges as a walrus with a mohawk, Big Ugly Jim has become something unexpected. Raised a fine young Christian boy in the city of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Jim began to question his teachings, first evaluating the wisdom of other religions and eventually realizing that none of them seemed any more accurate than any other, and not a one of them made a lick of sense. Today, Big Ugly Jim is a musician, a Business Analyst with Large Oil Company Whose Name Is Not Important, a music promoter with the Calgary Beer Core, a writer of fiction and non-fiction, a prick, an atheist, a father, an ex-husband, a role model, a horrifying vision in a red speedo (or at least he would be, if ever that happened which IT WOULD NOT), an announcer, and soon to be an officiator of weddings. Also, he's nice and does dishes. Jim continues to live in Calgary, spreading his filthy doctrine of free, critical thinking and appreciation for music.

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