God, The Raging Jerk

I hate this. Every time there is any kind of disaster or incident or what have you, some twat that was there always gets some serious play time for saying that the only reason they lived was that God was with them. The most recent case in point, one of the shooting survivors from Colorado.

What kind of raging jerk is this God character, that he is able to stop violent death from happening but doesn’t bother? Every single person who died that night is a death that your supposedly powerful God could have prevented, but he didn’t feel like it. I can say that if I was in that situation and saw a way that I could stop the whole thing from happening, I’d have taken it. Obviously, God isn’t quite so good hearted.

The young man in question assures us that God spared him because he has been praying desperately to God for the past year to just give him the opportunity to show the world what God’s love is, how neat it is, and how it saves you from getting shot in a theater. I have no way of knowing if this year of God-bothering is true or not, but if the loving Christian God is a guy who will only save those who have spent a year begging to tell everyone how cool he is, that makes the loving Christian God a gigantic prick.

It seems to me that determining whether this guy was genuinely saved by God would be fairly easy. Were any of the dead Christians? Did anyone who survived that incident have a faith other than Evangelical Christianity?

I could just as easily say that God saved me from being shot in that theater by having in His Divine Plan the fact that I would be an hour’s flight away from it. In fact, God has specifically saved me from any number of horrible things by not putting me in the middle of them. And I call him a jerk all the time! Even when I have been in dangerous situations, such as the time someone put a gun to my head and hosed me down with pepper spray so that he could rob me, God has spared me. Only it wasn’t because I begged and pleaded to share his awesome truth with the world. Likewise, it wasn’t because I expose the awesome lies of his truth.

No, I survived because sometimes people survive and sometimes people die. I was lucky. That guy in that theater on that night survived because he was lucky. And that luck isn’t even a force of nature, it’s an after-the-fact word you can apply to a situation where things worked out. But there was no act of God, karma, luck, feng shui, or the invisible hand of capitalism that shaped events. The events just were.

Son, you may have wanted to share how great your God is, but all you did was remind me what a giant jerk he is. Good work.

Jim

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About biguglyjim

Like a caterpillar that spins a coccoon and emerges as a walrus with a mohawk, Big Ugly Jim has become something unexpected. Raised a fine young Christian boy in the city of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Jim began to question his teachings, first evaluating the wisdom of other religious and eventually realizing that none of them seemed any more accurate than any other, and not a one of them made a lick of sense. Today, Big Ugly Jim is a musician, a Business Analyst with Large Oil Company Whose Name Is Not Important, a music promoter with the Calgary Beer Core, a writer of fiction and non-fiction, a prick, an atheist, a father, an ex-husband, a role model, a horrifying vision in a red speedo (or at least he would be, if ever that happened which IT WOULD NOT), an announcer, and soon to be an officiator of weddings. Also, he's nice and does dishes. Jim continues to live in Calgary, spreading his filthy doctrine of free, critical thinking and appreciation for music. And ladies, he's single! Hard to imagine, I know, but this loud-mouthed old timer who never grew up's turn-ons include people who can think for themselves, people who aren't afraid of a good giggle or a good pint, and people who know how to give back rubs. His turn-offs include people being shitty to each other, fundamentalism, and zebras. Fucking zebras... Who the hell do they think they are, really?

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