A deranged drunk woman decided she didn’t need to leave the bar when she was told to on Saturday. I was bouncing, and she managed to crack me in the knee with her high heels (swung in her hand, not kicked) a few times, so today I have some swelling and bruising and a knee that makes me very annoyed. As a result, I have a feeling that today’s Bibling up might just reflect a little of the anger that is burning inside of me. In case you were worried, I did not hurt her, but I truly wish I had. She would have been a lot easier to get out of the bar if she had been unconscious, and the risk to patrons and staff would have been far less. Even after she left, she stayed outside screaming and wailing. We had to call the cops, who gave her a thorough dressing down and drove her home. Live and learn.

Today’s reading, which has what I need but says he’s just a friend, comes from Luke 12.1-31, Genesis 21 and Psalm 14. We’re still slugging through the same three books, and I imagine it’ll be more of the same garbage with Jesus doing his “amazing” teaching, Abraham cuckolding his wife, and some anonymous Psalmist begging God to ruin other people’s lives. Hoo-ray.

For all the talk of a kinder, gentler, loving creator who sent his son Jesus to passively show us the way to the beautiful kingdom of heaven, Jesus really is starting to come off like a prick. We start things out with him yelling at his disciples to be fearful of God, because people may be able to kill you, but God can kill you and throw you into Hell. Yeah, kinder and gentler my ass.

And then I get to giggle. Jesus is allowed to heal the sick, to forgive sins, and to teach right from wrong, but he doesn’t get involved when a guy wants his brother to give him what he is owed. I guess this goes into that commandment about picking your battles and knowing when you should change the subject. He does so with a story about a guy who has a good harvest, and so he builds up a means to store the harvest so that he could prudently enjoy his newfound wealth, but God killed him instead. That just seems stupid to me.

Jesus’s next brilliant comparison says that you will never go hungry because crows, who don’t even till the earth or raise cattle, are able to eat. Well, Jesus, how do they eat? By stealing from farmers. That isn’t God providing, that’s scavengers scavenging, something crows are extremely good at because they are hard-wired to live that way. Is your argument that faith means you will never go hungry? because lots of religious people the world over starve to death every year. Or are you just not supposed to worry while you starve to death? Well, who would? I mean, you’re starving and dying, why worry about it? God feeds crows, so obviously something will come up. Right?

On to the story of how Abraham, to assuage Sarah’s jealousy, kicked the mother of his firstborn son Ishmael out into the desert with a waterskin and some bread. But don’t worry, it isn’t as dire as all that. As Hagar sat weeping alone because she could not handle the idea of watching her son die, God told her not to worry, and gave her some more water. What a loving God! I mean, he couldn’t have given her some food or a camel or anything… I know I’m splitting hairs, but this is the God you want to believe in? A God who tells his follower to abandon wife and child?

And on to a Psalm, which explicitly calls me out. The first verse of the Psalm says, “Only a fool would say, ‘There is no God!’ People like that are worthless; they are heartless and cruel and never do right.” Well, thanks David (it said that this was a Psalm by David for the music leader, whatever that means). I guess I’m a worthless, cruel, heartless, wrong-doing fool, because I’m happy to tell you that there is no God. The rest of the Psalm is just another “OMG LORD Y U R NOT SAFE US FROM ENEMEEZ” babble with nothing really spectacular to comment on.

So there you have it. I’m going to do another reading today as I’m still heavily behind on the “daily” part of this, but soon enough I’ll be caught up.

Jim