As I write this post, I have no idea what time it is. The clock on my desktop says a time, of course, but it’s under the faulty method of Greenwich Mean Time, a means of standardizing the time that is wholly arbitrarily determined. No, arbitrary is just silly. Arbitrary implies that it could be anything, and that is bad. So a group of scholarly sorts have come up with a significantly better plan, one that uses a reasoned approach to determining what should be the mean time of the planet. They want to use Mecca. That’s right, they want us to observe what I am lovingly calling Allah (who is most merciful) Savings Time.
Think about it, it’s perfect! What did Greenwich have to offer that’s better than Mecca? Mecca isn’t arbitrary, it’s where Mohammad last prayed (probably after setting his watch!) before going to Heaven. Jesus never even went to Greenwich, and we all know that after he was lifted by angels it was not to get to heaven, but to America. And he was a Jew, and clearly, Muslims aren’t about to wind their watches to some Jew-time. Nope, Mecca is the sensible choice.
One of the highly cogent arguments put forward is the fact that Mecca is a “zero magnetism zone”. This I didn’t know about, but the experts attest that there is no magnetic force in Mecca. This must be very difficult for them, given that magnets are very helpful for a variety of reasons, from sticking shopping lists on fridges to taking pictures inside a person. Of course, the MRI technology is directly in contrast with Islam; all injury is the will of Allah (who is a snappy dresser), and fixing an injury would mean going against his will, wouldn’t it? Don’t piss off your sky daddy, leave that broken leg as it is!
But maybe by zero magnetism zone what they mean is that… well, I’m at a loss. There’s no such thing as a zero magnetism zone. And they’ve decided that Mecca is “in perfect alignment with the magnetic north”. I took a look at a map, and it turns out you can draw an absolutely straight line from the north pole to Mecca! This was a shock to me, so I did some experiments. It turns out that through this same principal, my home town is in perfect alignment with Hartford. And Mogadishu. And anywhere I drew a straight line! Astounding!
Yes, Muslims of Saudi Arabia. We should definitely change everything to incorporate this astounding new information. Maps and time zones? How much could it possibly cost to replace those? Reprogramming every bastard computer on earth with new time zone information based on Allah (who excels at basketball) Savings Time? No problem! Frankly, I just don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t leap on this right now. We need to move away from some foolish arbitrary starting point and align time with Allah (who knows more than a fifth grader). Sure, the system works and has worked for ages, but just because something isn’t broken doesn’t mean Allah (who rocks any party) cannot make it better! It just makes sense.
Jim
Just another instance of unintelligent buffoons living in their own fantasy-land of ancient ideologies trying to pretending they understand the modern world around them. I would have no problems with them living their lives in peace (cough) and tranquility as long as their actions do not harm those who don’t subscribe to their brand of “science” or “justice”. Perhaps this tower will simply stand as a harmless monument to their stupidity. But when stupid people start making big decisions based on mysticism and hearsay, that’s when very bad things happen.
I wonder where (or if) this trend will end?
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Right on man… funny article.. oh hey did you know by any chance that ancient Muslim scholars like Ab? Al? al-?asan ibn al-?asan ibn al-Haytham who was a scientist and polymath made significant contributions to the principles of optics as well as to physics, anatomy, astronomy, engineering, mathematics, medicine, ophthalmology, philosophy, psychology, visual perception and to science in general with his early application of the scientific method, which by the way is the method used by current scientists who enable racist bloggers when they make fun of Arabs and the Muslim world in general? Awesome right? Maybe next time you decide to use subversive ignorance as your right to free speech and blog an article that took you half a second to fart up on the net you can try read up some information on contributions of other ancient cultures to the advancement of human thinking than just assume that Europe coughed up all this great knowledge you use today. This might possibly include ancient East Asian, African and South American empires that carefully predicted solar and lunar calenders using sticks, shadows, giant pyramids and gazing at stars. Using such tools, ancient Arabs took to the seas with navigational tools that measured distance and oh my fucking God time! I’m glad there’s little irony in the title of your article and the fact that I had to point out your arrogance. Please read up on some geopolitics and how the Ottoman empire left the infrastructure of the Arab world in ruins for centuries before the industrial age. It might enlighten your point of view instead of increase your arrogance of some images you saw on CNN and Fox News.
While I can’t honestly say that I’m familiar with the works of the scientist you have mentioned, I’m well aware of the contributions of ancient Arabs and others. For example, you forgot the number 0. That does not, however, mean that science is embraced by Islam today. You can argue until you are blue in the face about the great deeds of the so-called Islamic Golden Age, but that does not mean there is respect in the Muslim world for scientific thought today. Muslim countries represent almost none of the published scientific papers in the past decade. Like it or not, Islam at present does not have any love for science.
The accusation that Jim gets his point of view from CNN and Fox News is completely solid. Yep … Jim and I are always discussing how CNN and Fox News are bastions of enlightened thought in our irrational world. This is obviously where we get our super-racist and anti-Muslim hate-filled blogging mentality. *rolls eyes*