Okay, I need some clarification. There are plenty of people out there who believe very deeply that they have this gift that God has bestowed upon them to speak in tongues. It’s sort of like scat singing, but it ain’t the blues that are speaking through you, it’s God. God’s all about making people spray out indecipherable mutterings, an act in and of itself that seems bizarre. If God has so much that he wants to share with us, wouldn’t it be nice if he chose English? Or really, any language on earth?

I just watched this somewhat related video. The little 2 year old isn’t exactly speaking in tongues, but more aping his family’s pentacostal dance-a-thon faith. Much like Marjoe Gortner, it’s easy to see this child for what he is when we look at the situation without the blinders of faith in the way; it’s a little boy who enjoys playing preacher. Yes, in Marjoe’s case it wasn’t about enjoying playing preacher so much as earning his keep, but the principal is the same.

I’ve known people who claimed to be able to speak in tongues before, and they all seem to belong to churches crammed to the rafters with other people who just happen to also have this miraculous gift. Having been a member of the faithful for a long time in my youth, I can say that no matter how much I felt like God was with me, I never once had the urge to belt out a little Minnie The Moocher.

One of the other gifts God can impart is interpretation, the ability to understand the jibble-dee-jiggles of the tongue-speakers. But sadly, there never seems to be an interpreter handy for these. I guess our omnipotent God forgets the details.

Jim`