In the past couple of weeks I have posted quite a bit about the ugly side of nature with regards to the things that crawl on it. However, it’s not just the parasitic wasps and rabid dogs that are in nature’s arsenal of awfulness. If one wants to find the workings of a benevolent and loving creator, one need look no further than the exciting world of plants.
What triggered this post was a couple of articles I read today in my journeys. The first is about Jeracleum mantegazzianum, a lovely plant that is spreading in Eastern Canada using the pseudonym Giant Hogweed. And giant it is, folks. According to the article, it can grow to twenty feet tall and five feet wide. Yup, sure is a big plant. And it’s a powerful reproducer, an introduced species with no natural predators here. But that’s not the big part of the story.
You see, The ole’ Giant Hogweed is dangerous. Get a bit of sap on you, sweat, and then hit the sun and you may well suffer a condition they call phytophotodermatitis, which is Latin for plant-light-skin-pain, and essentially means either massive, ugly blisters that hurt like hell and/or ugly scars that may last years. Get some of that sap in your eyes and you’re looking at a case of blindness.
The other article that inspired me did so in a different direction, but one where the ridiculous notion of “natural means good” is equally pervasive, drugs. Angel’s Trumpet is a natural hallucinogenic, and some people like to drink tea made from it for the purposes of tripping out. But… well, let me quote the article:
However, the aftermath of Angel’s Trumpet use is far from colorful. In cases like these, I like to turn to the Erowid site, a respected, user-supported site that offers non-judgmental information on plant-derived and synthetic psychoactive agents. The Erowid Experience Vault has several descriptions of the use of Angel’s Trumpet but this one is the most detailedand representative of the downsides of this plant. (Note that the colloquial term for Angel’s Trumpet in Australia is sometimes “Tree Datura,” although Brugmansia is a closely-related but distinct genus from Datura within the Solanaceae family.)
I also came across a poorly-documented 2003 news article cited a German teenager cutting off his penis and tongue with garden shears after using Angel’s Trumpet.
He cut off his penis. Oh, you crazy teenagers with your rock music, hula hoops, soda pop, hallucinogenic drugs, and penile removals. Let this serve as a reminder, the decisions you make may well affect the rest of your life.
Poison ivy… Venus fly traps… Carnivorous tomatoes… Pitcher plants… It seems like even the plant world is just as knee-deep in jerks as the animal kingdom. But hey, folks. It’s natural. So that pretty much means safe, right?
Jim
