Two stories that I just felt the need to comment on today. First off, there is a lawyer in Pakistan who is taking his country’s overreaction to Draw Mohammed Day that one step further and attempting to charge three of the founders of Facebook over the incident. According to Pakistani law:
“Use of derogatory remark etc, in respect of the Holy Prophet, whoever by words, either spoken or written, or by visible representation, or by any imputation, innuendo, or insinuation, directly or indirectly, defiles the sacred name of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) shall be punished with death, or imprisonment for life, and shall also be liable for fine.”
Yes, that’s right, this little man of the bar wants to impose a death sentence on three men who once upon a time founded a company.
And then there’s this storyfrom Ben Goldacre’s Bad Science blog about the Italian prosecutor’s office in L’Aquila are indicting and investigating a group of seismologists for manslaughter because they did not believe the lunatic prophecies of a lab tech who warned them of a pending earthquake. Yes, you read that correctly. It appears that in Italy, not listening to doomsayers can get you a manslaughter charge.
We all overreact. It’s in our nature. I do it too, so don’t go getting the idea that I’m in some way implying that if only people were more like me, the world would be a better place. In fact, if people were more like me the world would suffer greatly. But we also know what to do when we recognize that we are over-reacting. However, sometimes it takes the objective eye of an outsider to make us aware of things, so this is my hope today.
| Dear Muhammad Azhar Siddique, I understand that you are upset about all of this “Draw Mohammad Day” antics. And despite my having participated in the festivities, I can understand where you are coming from. To you, this whole event was a mean-spirited attack on your faith. I can assure you that, while there were clearly some who embodied exactly that, the point of the event (and the reason I took part) was to defend our free speech against what we consider the unrealistic dogma of a faith we do not share.Hold your followers to whatever internal rules and policies you like. It is ultimately up to them if they choose to adhere to the rules or break them and face the consequences, but to those who do not believe are not subject to those rules. We are already infidels, and I’m sure there’s no end of clever ways your Allah will put us to suffering when we are dead. So don’t worry about us. We’ll get ours. But I have a bunch of rules that I consider to be divine, and I can’t hold you to them either.Ultimately, we’re talking about pictures here. Pictures of a guy who you don’t want pictures being drawn of. So let’s take a moment… take a deep breath… mmmm. Isn’t that nice? How about stretching your arms up. All the way up. Make your spine feel like it’s elongating. Feel the sun beating down on your upturned face. What’s that? Is that a flower? Smell that flower. Give it a good, long sniff. There now. Isn’t that just gorgeous? Now, are pictures really that big a deal?Your pal, Big Ugly Jim |
And later…
| Dear Office of the Prosecutor, L’Aquila, Italy: Hi there! I am a renowned predictor of future events! It’s true! In fact, I even know that as you read these words you are dubious. This is I think sufficient proof of my powers, as when I wrote it you had not read it yet and STILL I KNEW!I am writing to you to warn you of a prophecy I have just had. Almighty God came to me in a dream, as he does from time to time, and he said unto me in his boomy voice, “BEHOLD! IN L’AQUILA, THEY SHALL SUFFER MORE MY EARTHQUAKEY WRATH IF THEY PERSIST IN THEIR PUNISHING THE SEISMOLOGISTS! THIS GIOACCHINO GIULIANI WHO CLAIMS TO KNOW MY WILL IS A FRAUD! NO ONE CAN KNOW THE MIND OF GOD! I CAUSED THE LAST EARTHQUAKE AND DIDN’T WARN SEISMOLOGISTS BECAUSE THAT’S HOW OMNIPOTENT DIETIES ROLL. SO JIM, TELL THE PROSECUTORS TO FUCK OFF.”I am but the messenger. Fuck off. Your pal, |
I think I’ve done some important work here.
Jim
I think you should start a new company writing anonymous letters to idiots. You’ve got a knack!
not listening to doomsayers can get you a manslaughter charge -> can you explai ?
Sadly, I’m afraid there is no possible explanation.