The Morality Of The Anti-Choicers Comes From The Bible

Onan’s tale is one that many of my Christian friends do not seem to know much about. It’s a sincerely interesting story, especially when you consider the people who believe that their morality comes from the Bible. The story is told in Genesis 38 if you want to follow along at home, but here are the broad strokes.

Onan had a brother named Er, and since God hated him a bunch for being a wicked jerkface, God killed him. The culture of the time meant that Onan had to take Er’s wife as his own, because back then a woman who didn’t have a man was just about fucked. Onan manned up and did the necessary, but God instructed Onan to have sex with her. Somehow, Onan got it in his head that if they had a baby, it wouldn’t be his. Clearly, Onan wasn’t what you’d call a scholar, but we won’t judge him. As a result, when he banged his dead brother’s wife (as per God’s mighty instructions), he pulled out. So naturally, God killed him dead.

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What Will I Say About My Tattoos When I Am Old

“Every body is a book of blood; wherever we’re opened, we’re red”
- Clive Barker (The Books Of Blood)

From the day of my first tattoo, I have been asked what I will say about them when I am old. I’ve always found this to be an utterly strange question, though I recognize that this is because of what my tattoos are. I could see those who get stupid tattoos having regrets in their dotage, but I do not in any way worry that I will be anything short of thrilled about my skin.

My skin tells many stories. The scar on my left thumb knuckle was from learning that you can’t turn 90 degrees on a bicycle. The scar on my chin was my last time on ice skates. The scar above my lip reminds me that it isn’t pit bulls you need to worry about. My stretch marks remind me of what can happen if I eat poorly. The difference between those scars and the other marks on my body is that I get authorship of the story my skin tells.

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Sometimes Comments Are Worth Destroying

I want to reply to a comment I got here. We don’t get many comments here. We get a lot of spam, which (thankfully) is almost always caught by the tools on this site and isolated. I just finished emptying the spam trap here of almost 3000 comments, which is about 3 times the number of approved comments throughout this site’s history. We’re not a well-traveled blog, and most of the time any comments actually come from friends of mine. Only one post really garnered any significant internet interest, and it just pissed me off when the troll army unleashed their hordes on my lowly blog.

But this morning, I got a notification that I had a new comment. Normally, this’d be spam that didn’t get through the trap, but in this case, it appears to be a legit comment by some random person on a 2010 post of mine about the myth that we only use 10% of our brain. So now, I shall retort. Continue reading

NSFW – To F*ck A Mind Or Not To F*ck A Mind, That Is The Question

A friend posted two links to Facebook and asked for comment. The first article, 7 + 1 Ways To F*ck A Woman’s Mind, was written by a man (in tragically comedic I ARE ROMANTIC MIDEVUL WARRIAR words) and the second, a rebuttal entitled 7 + 1 Ways Not To F*ck A Woman’s Mind, was written by a woman. Both were interesting, and I felt I could comment on both. But being the wordsmith that I am, rather than posting a quick comment on Facebook, I ran down to the mighty heat of my cauldron and began crafting the words for a rebuttal in the fires of my wordsmithery. Many days did I struggle whilst hammering ‘pon the vowels and consonants to craft this retort.

To the first piece, there is a word… Rapeporn. Okay, that’s two words, and I removed the space to make it one word like my German ancestors did with one way street (Einbahnstrase) or submarine (unterseeboat), but that’s what it is. Written as someone who clearly watches too much Game Of Thrones, it is an article that tries to discuss the passion that is rough, passionate sex.

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Dr. Oz, John Oliver, And Why I Hate Lying Bastards

The key to an excellent news program is to make information accessible. John Stewart has a long running program which you may be familiar with called The Daily Show and does an excellent job of this. John Oliver’s new show, Last Week Tonight, is also excellent at this, but has the added bonus of not needing to censor profanity, which makes it a win fucking win. If you haven’t been watching this program, you really ought to. Oliver is a great host who takes on difficult topics, and presents things in a thoughtful manner. But for this, I want to focus on his recent comments on Dr. Oz, the supplement industry, and the deliciousness of snake oil. I’ll include the video below the fold.

I cannot call myself a fan of Dr. Oz. I believe he is a charismatic sociopath who, through the power of Oprahfication, has become one of those most dangerous men in Western society. Hearing that he was going to be testifying about weight loss products to Congress, I got me a big old surly chubby. I just knew there was no way that he could scoundrel his way out of looking like a dangerous quack, and I was happy as all fuckbuttons when that was exactly what happened.

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Does Evolution Justify Rape

I’ve let this one slip because I’ve not really paid that much attention to anything that contains the name “Hovind” for a very long time, but I just read a post by PZ Myers which included a video response by Rebecca Watson to the remarkable comment by Darek Isaacs on Eric Hovind’s show that asks the poignant and thought-provoking question, “Well, if evolution is true and it’s just all about the male propagating their DNA, we had to ask hard questions like, well, is rape wrong?”

Rebecca, unsurprisingly, does a fine job of showing just how sturdy a question this is by using the same logic the question provides to question other important things, my favorite being “If Newton’s third law of motion is all about every action having an equal and opposite reaction, is it wrong to poop on a baby who just pooped on me?” Cutting edge thought, I’d have to say. But I still feel the need to address Isaacs’s question.

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The Old Brown Belt

My dad, as a child, spent most of his summers on my Uncle Jack and Aunt Ivy’s farm. When you did something bad on the farm, you were told to go cut yourself a switch. That process involved going out to a thicket of trees and finding just the right branch to bring back to offer to the adults that they might use it to whup you. A thin branch was awful, as it cut through the air so much better and could really cause damage, but too thick a branch would result in a higher number of whacks, so one had to be quite thoughtful and strongly consider each branch to find the perfect balance.

We didn’t have a grove of trees nearby, so my dad hung an old, brown leather belt in the kitchen. When we had pushed things to the point of ridiculous, he would tell us to go get his belt. It was a very humbling experience, taking it down from the wall, handing it to my father, and knowing what that meant, and as a result, it was something we didn’t push our luck to all that often.

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Why I Hate Online Fundie Videos

Dear Mister Atheist, I’m gonna tell you in three minutes why I’m a complete and utter idiot who clearly has no idea about the actual argument around evolution. I watched about the first half minute of this moron’s video and shut it off because it was nothing new. In fact, it’s almost a verbatim regurgitating of several of what AronRa calls the foundational falsehoods of creationism. If you would like to see the various videos he has put together for these, you can go to his web site. Clearly, the idiot fundie did not.

I’m not going to bother addressing either his points in the original video or the piece below that gives a news-ish report-ish about his incredible journey but also features AronRa discussing the stupid. The debate has been done, and saying that evolution hasn’t been observed is kind of like saying “You don’t know the earth is round because you can’t see the whole thing”. It’s bloody stupid, and enough breath has been wasted on the topic.
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Strange Fruit

The more things change, the more they stay fucking awful.

We’re up to four women who have been hung to death in Uttar Pradesh, a state located in the northern part of India. The cops involved claim this wasn’t a rape, but it does seem likely that they’re mistruthifying, as the other three victims were all gang raped before the hangings. Oh, and for the record, that’s four women found that way recently. It’s not the fourth time this has happened, it happens lots in the region. We’re just hearing about it more these days.

We are, it should be remembered, monstrous creatures. We have built beautiful societies and cultures that elevate us above all other animals, and sometimes we forget what we are when we look at our beautiful towers and art installations. Stories like this? Well, they’re just a dark little reminder that we need to do better. The cool thing is that we actually can.

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Guns Don’t Kill People (People With Guns Kill People)

I should clarify, here. I actually like handguns. I got the opportunity a few years back to go shooting with a couple of friends, and after being totally uninterested in both the uzi and the weird plastic assault rifle thingie, I grabbed a handgun, squeezed off a round, and was all OMG I GET IT NOW. I would very much like to own a handgun, and am considering the long and involved process of getting the appropriate certifications here in Soviet Canuckistan to be able to own one. I’m not anti-gun. Pure and simple.

But come the fuck on, people. Pretending that having ready access to guns is a good thing or an important thing gets more and more ludicrous every day. The horrible cynic in me wants to take a map of Canada and the US and turn it into a betting pool to see which state or province has today’s shooting. We could sell advertising and make a mint. But as much as I’m a monster, I’m just not that monster.

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